Terri Schiavo

I've been following this case quite extensively and I have my own feelings about it.

I don't believe that Terri Schiavo would want the media attention, the court or political involvement either, I believe that Terri Schiavo would want this matter to be kept private.

I understand that is it hard for her parents to let go, I believe that Terri Schiavo should have been allowed serious rehabilitation years ago, now would probably be too late anyway. What kind of a life is this for a young woman who was full of promise?

I am not advocating Terri Schiavo die any more than I am saying Michael Schiavo should get to keep the money. This is a disturbing case that is tearing more than just the family members apart. The entire world is now involved in this family matter.

When I got my diagnosis in 1999 I made sure I had a Medical Power of Attorney, A Living Will and a DNR in place.

If for nothing else this is a perfect example of why everyone should plan for the worst. What has happened to Terri Schiavo could happen to any of us for any medical reason.

Think about it and plan for yourself, do it now!

I've spent the last month trying to recover from a cold that went to my chest. There is nothing quite like sitting next to a guy who blows his nose into an airsick bag. He was sick flying home and I was exposed to him for 12 hours. By the time we got to Chicago I knew I was picking up whatever he had.

I then had to pick up my connecting at Ohare to get home to Dallas. Ohare has cold pockets in the airport and I froze my ass running from concourse C to B underground. Thank God Starbucks is there because it was wonderful to get something hot into me.

I'm still hacking as if I smoke 20 packs a day, but I felt like getting out today so I attended a meeting of the Funeral Consumers Alliance here. I'm up for a board position for my area and the folks I met today were wonderful to talk to. I am up for confirmation in April. This is a really great opportunity for me and I really feel I bring some great experience to the table.

They were very cool about my website bluelips.com, in fact most of them loved the 3 page review that's in the book "Internet Babylon". Greg Holden wrote a really wonderful piece about us in his book, but what surprised me is his writeup took about 3 pages. I was really surprised to find out we'd even been reviewed for the book one of my regular customers happen to see the review and told me about it. It's nice to be appreciated and the publicity certainly doesn't hurt.

Life continues to be an interesting adventure for me. I've had some problems with the drug zometa (the side effects are bothering me), but there is never a day I want to give up. I do think I'm going to ask my oncologist if I can go back on the original drug aredia, even though the infusion is longer. There are days I barely function because of the side effects. For those of you who are unfamiliar with breast cancer treatment. Aredia and Zometa are used in patients with metastatic disease (the cancer has spread beyond the breast). Some of the side effects of these drugs are:

headaches
nausea
pitting edema
chest pain
bone pain
fatigue
flu like symptoms
stomach and bowel problems

Sometimes the drugs we are on cause more problems than the actual illness.

I get asked the "why me" question a lot. It's getting old. I knew I was a high risk person for breast cancer, so the "why me" has never come into play.

The question for me that has come into play is "am I going to die from this?"

I try not to focus on the possibility as it's too damn depressing to think about. I have more important things to do today besides focus on my death. I have taught my dog how to belch.
Isn't that a more fun thing to do?

I'm really glad I don't live in Seattle, I wouldn't like the constant rain. As is, in Texas the weather changes every 15 minutes. It's not uncommon for it to rain on one side of the road and not the other. I don't have much energy these days, but had to do some laundry and hauled it to the laundromat this morning. I was very fatigued by the time I got there. I put a dent into what I need to get done and it was nice that no one else was there early this morning.

When you are going through a catastrophic illness you start to appreciate little things like green grass, flowers and an uncrowded laundromat. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore.

I was so tired from just doing a little laundry that I crashed until 4pm this afternoon. Fatigue is a common problem and one that I just have to deal with.
People who visit my website have been incredibly supportive and understanding
esp after treatment days. I don't do chemo anymore per se, I do receive a drug called zometa once a month in an IV through the port in my chest. I also take a number of drugs on a daily basis, one of which is designed to keep my horomone levels down. My kidneys hurt much of the time because the drugs are hard on my body. I sometimes wonder if it's the drugs that kill people more than the cancer.

Cancer has been a wake up call for me. I like to think I'm surviving because I'm a pain in the ass. I just refuse to give up like my mother did. She died at 56, smoked herself to death, but she had two different types of breast cancer. I'm not ready to give up yet. I don't feel old at 52, I still have several years ahead of me.

Well here I am all messed up and no place to grow. It's been a long week.

Just to catch everyone up the Penn and Teller Bullshit segment I am in aired in Aug 2004, it's called Death, Inc. They did a good job, considering it is only a 30 min show.

Flight From Death documentary has not been released yet. I was interviewed for Flight in 2003. Patrick is an awesome director. Greg is a joy to be around even if he is folically impaired.

I have shit loads of laundry to do today. I think between Starbucks and laundry I'll be busy woman. There is nothing quite as disgusting as having a pair of jeans be able to stand up on their own.

Later, kids!

O.K. I'm sure someone is bound to ask "you lost your blog". Yeah well chalk it up to chemo brain. I know its been 10 months since I wrote anything, but I honestly lost track of it.

Life is an interesting chain of events for me. My neighbors from hell have finally sold their house (yes!), but now I want a bigger house myself. I've been to Hawaii a few bazillion times and made it to the top of Diamonhead Crater last April. Research is always interesting, but we are no closer to a cure for advanced breast cancer than we were a year ago.

I'm so happy I found this blog again. Not that anyone will care what I think or have to say, but maybe just maybe someone will read this one day and say "wow she was prophetic, cool and had one hell of a sense of humor".